Beach Therapy

I had a bit of time to think.  I went to Cuba for a week.  There was nothing more serene than being able to spend mornings just thinking about life while you sit at the beach alone, watching the water before anyone else has a chance to join you.  I thoroghly enjoyed it.  It gave me time to think about the things that matter to me most, and how I need to get that work life balance that I've been looking for.  I was also, for the first time in my life, able to give myself credit for my accomplishments, and to allow myself to make a few mistakes.  It was a great feeling.

Unfortunately, coming back home, I found that left side eye twitch returned within a few days (it was gone in Cuba).  So clearly, something is just too stressful and my body is giving me a sign.  Now I have to figure out how to peel back the layers and determine which element of my life to change- is it the housework (do I need a nanny?)  Is it the commute to Toronto daily which takes about 3 hrs a day that's killing me?  Is it having a corporate career that perhaps is just too much for me?  I need to do a bit more soul searching, but I think I'm on my way.

I also realized just how much I miss my girlfriends.  I've removed myself from everyone, and I'm not sure why I did it, but I REALLY miss them.  I miss the female bonding, I miss the reassurance, and I miss their encouragement.  Most of these girlfriends live so far away (Ajax/Markham/Pickering/Whitby/Barrie)- I just want to have them all here.

And Ramadan is around the corner.  I want this home to be full of love, full of guests this year.  I want this to be the year I bring out the girl who would have dinner parties, without stress, because she would cook a basic meal, and enjoy the time with her friends.

One more thing I decided- in Feb, when I turn 40 this upcoming year, I am going to have a diva dinner with all my close friends.   It's long overdue.