Playing Games

It feels like my ex is playing games, again.

He contacted me and basically requested that we try to work through our issues ourselves.  The last time I checked, isn't that what people do BEFORE they start with court proceedings?  I just don't get it.  This court process is such a waste of time, energy, and money.

On the one hand, he wants more time with the children.  On the other, he can't handle the time that he has.  I wish he would understand the simple mathematics.  If he could demonstrate an ability to handle the kids better, I would be happy to give him more time with the children.  I mean, I would actually have some breathing time.  Come on.

So we are pushing the June 24 court date out to October.  The goal is to give it one last shot to come to an out-of-court agreement.  Let's see how this goes.

To those of my friends who wonder where I've been lately, I'm around.  Just trying to get out of my funk.  Life is starting to take a real toll on me.  I'm feeling mentally stressed, and I really think I just need a break.  I miss my friends, and my social life.  I'm feeling a bit down...

Thankfully, it's summer.  The sunshine will help and I have a few things to get on track.

Isn't it funny how the people who look so well put together are the ones with the most problems?

I had an eye opener this past weekend.  I had a friend in town from Kuwait.  I haven't seen her for 7 years.  It was lovely to see her after so long, and at the same time, I needed a bit of a smackdown, and I'm glad she gave it to me.  She watched me working in my house and basically said that I haven't changed in 7 years.  I worked myself to the bone when I was married, to the point of a stress attack that put me in the hospital.  And she says I'm still doing it.  And she's right.  I still push myself too hard, I still keep myself isolated and I still try to do everything on my own and be superwoman.  Here I was thinking that everything has changed- and why the logistics have (I am divorced and on my own)- my core hasn't.  I am still driving myself to exhaustion.

By the time she left, she insisted that I find someone to help in my home.  Someone to cook/clean/and get the kids out the door in the morning.  Not a full time nanny, but a couple of hours of day.  If anyone knows someone I can use, let me know!  I think it's time.