I'm spending this weekend with my mom and dad. Nothing like some TLC to make you feel better.
It's funny. I'm almost 39 (well, I will be in a few weeks), and nothing feels nicer than having my mom put a big blanket over me and make me a cup of tea. She came and checked on me last night when I was sleeping to see if I was able to sleep. It was so adorable...she opened the door and whispered my name and when I didn't answer, she got another blanket, put it on top of me and quietly left. There is no better feeling in the world than that.
It made me wonder...with my hectic life, am I half the mother my mom is? Will the things I do for my children come anywhere close to what mom does for me? Sadly, half the time when my kids are sick, I send them to my mother so I can go to work. So while I know they are getting the best care possible, will their memories of comfort be of my mother, or will they be of me?
While it's awesome that my mom comforts them (nobody can give better care than her)- what is my "comfort" contribution to my children? Have I spent too much time focusing on the functional aspects of motherhood (like putting food on the table, cooking meals, doing homework), and too little on the comfort?
I do know that when my daughter is down, she says nothing makes her feel better than when I rock her back and forth in my arms and tell her that everything will be OK. So it's not like I do nothing...but do I do enough?
That's a question that I will only have the answer to when they are old enough to understand and give me one.
Back to healing. Thank God for my mom.
2 comments:
Hey Shaz, don't be so hard on yourself. You give what you can give whenever you can give it and your children know this about you. So what if your gift to them sometimes is to let Grandma take care of them. If that is the best option at the time then you are being the best mother you can be. Besides, being a mother is about all of the day to day issues that you deal with everyday. You do these very well, don't sell yourself short.
BF
Thanks for the vote of confidence. You know how it is, no matter how much we do, we never know if it's enough. I think as a single mom, I somehow hold myself more accountable for everything in the children's lives...
But thanks again honey :)
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