The Bad Goalie

My kids both play soccer.  A couple of weeks back, my daughter had a chance to be goalie in the second half of their game.  Her team was winning 2-0.  She got in the net, and I watched as my little baby tried to block the net, but let 3 goals in. Her team lost 3-2.  She was devastated.

I knew from the moment the game ended that this was not going to be pretty.  I thought she was going to cry.  And then I saw her run towards me, tears streaming down her face.  "Mommy- I made my team lose!"

I reassured her that it wasn't her fault.  She played her best, and that is all we can do.  We can't do better than our best.  "But mommy- If someone else was the goalie, we wouldn't have lost!  I think they all hate me!".

"Firstly baby.  They don't hate you.  Secondly, how do you know you would have won?  How do you know that the people scoring the goals weren't the ones that were good goal scorers?  How do you know?"

She paused.  "No.  It's my fault".

"Ok...is there anything we could have done differently?  No.  Could we do better than our best?  No.  At the end of the day, someone is going to lose and someone is going to win.  The other team's goalie let 2 goals in.  Is that her fault?  No".

But man, no matter what I said, it didn't seem to work.  And then I said, "Honey, every child cannot be the best at every role.  Look at professional soccer.  The best goal scorer is probably not the best in net.  And the goalie probably can't score a goal.  You are the best defense person on that team.  Be proud of what you do well and enjoy it when you get a chance to try out other roles, but don't be sad just because you can't be the best at all of them.  Even professionals can't do that.  Just have fun when you are on the field, and allow yourself to enjoy which part of the game you like the most, what part you do the best in, and what part you don't enjoy."

Bingo.  A smile. "I love you Mommy.  You are the best."

Mommy-1.  Soccer meltdown- 0.  :)