Home Again

Here we go again. I worked from home today, initially because my children had a dentist's appointment at 3:30. I actually would have ended up working from home anyways because I have this lovely cold. More about that in a bit.

The Monday afternoon dentist appointment was not exactly a planned event. The appointment was actually last week on Saturday. But, because of the daylight savings time patch program, well, it really messed up. I thought (according to my blackberry) that my appointment was at 12:30pm on Saturday last week. At 11:50, the doctor called saying that they were calling to inquire about the children. I told her we were just leaving and would make it for 12:30. She told me that the appt was 11:30 and that there was a $30 missed appointment charge per child. Then I realized the daylight savings patch problem. I got a new blackberry and they were unable to install the patch. Stupid daylight savings time. Stupid patch. Stupid technology. Stupid me.

A few minutes of arguing and I got them to agree to give me the next available appointment without the $30 per child penalty. The next available appointment was today. I decided not to argue, and to take what I could get. I figured I could always work from home. It all worked out ok. Turns out I would have been home anyways. I was feeling sick in New York this weekend. Had a headache, felt dizzy, and had ear pain. My chest was burning and I couldn't sleep. I knew this was bad news. I didn't really get to do much in NY, because I felt like crap. I ended up sleeping (well trying to) early each night, waking up late, and basically being very lazy in the day. We spent Saturday in Manhattan, but the rest of the time, I was basically out of it. So, today, I went to the doctor's, and he confirmed that I have the start of bronchitis. Just the start. He said that the antibiotic and narcotic cough syrup should catch it in the next 48 hours. If it does, I'll avoid a full blown bronchitis. I'm hoping that's what will happen, and that I will back at work by Wednesday, or Thursday at the worst. I'm personally hoping for Wednesday. It's already a short week, I don't want to lose too many days by being sick, because I'm only working half capacity and this will only mean that I will have to catch up and put in late hours later this week or early next week. No thank you. Late work nights mess up my office routine and the children's bedtime. Sigh. The trials of being a single parent.

Anyhow, this weekend was total drama for many reasons. I was supposed to meet my friend's kids, but that didn't happen, and in hindsight it was probably for the best since I felt like crap. On the Toronto front, it turns out that the night before I left, I got a letter in the mail from the CAS. The letter was so crappy and irritating, I cannot begin to describe, but in a nutshell, it said that the case was now closed with no real remaining issues or cause for concern. It mentioned that it was "alleged" that the father had questionable discipline methods and language but that was it. No mention of concerns for abuse, no mention of actual abuse. The system sucks. Basically, he has to hurt them like he hurt me for it to matter. That was my biggest fear.

Anyhow, I really don't know if this is going to be worth the court effort. I went to NY expecting to deal with this when I got back. I forgot to consider that of course he would get the same letter. He showed up at the children's school expecting to see the children this weekend. It was after all, his weekend with the children. The children were at my mom's house, I was in NY and I get a call from my ex who was freaking out because the children had already been picked up. Now normally, I would respect the lawyer's advice and tell him to take a hike, and that he would NOT see the kids. But, given the weak CAS letter, and other things, I don't know if this will be the best thing for anyone. My ex mentioned mediation. I agreed that mediation might be a better approach. A stricter access agreement might be a good idea, as it will avoid some of the confusion and problems. I can't stop him from seeing the kids cuz the CAS openly stated that they are not restricting any access. The courts can intervene but a psychological assessment takes too much time and money. Like 18 months and 10k for the assessment, plus court and lawyer costs. No thanks. I think learning to be civil is a much better approach.

Now we have to find a mediator and see if the courts can close our file. Let's see what happens. I'm not feeling hopeful for anything anymore. The system sucks, and so does my luck. If nothing else, at least he was forced to consent to therapy for the children. But what an expensive and timely route to take to achieve the therapy. Sigh.

No wonder women never leave abusive men. They suck and they never seem to lose. They always get their way.

I need to stop blogging. I feel way too crappy physically, and way to crusty emotionally.