Last night I went to my son's school for an open house. He showed me around his school- the fall fair, the library, the playground, his coat hook etc etc. I saw the school at the open house last year, but for some reason, he was just as excited to show me everything again this year. I played along, acting like it was the first time I had been there. We all had a good time.
When I met his teacher, I was pleased to hear what he had to say. Apparently, the principal had told him that our divorce was finalized this summer, and to keep an eye out to make sure we know if he's emotionally well adjusted to the change. I thought that was nice of her. The teacher said that my son is doing very well, that he's really polite, and that he came in on day one saying "This is grade 2. It's a new year, but the same school. I'm going to have a great year". And apparently, he's stuck by it. He said that so far, my son seems excited to be there, and doesn't seem to be impacted by the divorce. I was really relieved.
I wonder if the divorce was the same for my children as it was for me- more of a formality, with the bigger change being the separation itself? I'm not sure, so I'll wait and see. Either way, I am very pleased. I've seen the difference in my son too- he seems more well adjusted, happier, and more comfortable speaking about his feelings when things bother him.
I think it's also a great thing that he has a male teacher. My brother in law is a Vice Principal and he once told me that little boys learn better from male teachers. I think this might be especially true for my son, mostly because he is with me more than his father, and lacks a consistent positive male role model. The best role modeling he gets today is from Rich, and I am so grateful for that. But, it's still not every day, so the thought of a male teacher for my son makes me feel comfortable. It helps that he's a young teacher, and also that he's very soft-spoken. I feel really good about the upcoming school year.
I was tucking my son in last night and I told him how pleased I was to hear what his teacher had to say. He seemed especially hard on himself, commenting on how he wished he could be as perfect as other boys that he knows. I told him that to me he is perfect, and that there is no other boy in the world that I would want in my life.
I'm a bit curious why he's comparing himself like that and feeling not good enough. I don't think I've compared him to anyone, and I think I've been good at reassuring him that he's a great kid. I'm wondering if he's trying for me, to make life easier for me? Or does he feel that everything is somehow his fault? He keeps telling me that he wants to make sure that I'm happy from now on. It's very sad, because it is not his responsibility to take care of me. It's my responsibility to take care of him.
Isn't it odd how children take a care giving role to their parents? This is yet another thing to keep an eye on. I need to make sure that my son doesn't carry the weight of the world on his shoulders at the tender age of 6.
My son worries about too many things, and he takes too much on himself emotionally. He is too young to realize that he cannot and should not worry about things today that may not even become an issue tomorrow.
I know- Like mother, like son. How can I tame this in my son when I can't even control it in myself? It's like the blind leading the blind. :(
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