Last night was my 4th swimming lesson. Each week I learn something new and each week I get a little more confident.
Last week I ditched the floating device and learned how to add in the arms to move myself forward. It was hard. I kept wiping out and had to stop halfway through a lap of the pool. But I felt fab because I was learning to swim without a floater.
This week, I continued on the same lesson. But this time I was able to do 10 laps (not consecutive, I had to take a break after each lap). But at least I didn't have to stop halfway through the lap. I'm getting there.
Yesterday, I had lunch at the food court with a girlfriend who I met after a year. She asked if I'm taking care of myself yet, doing anything for me since the last time we met. My answer to this question is almost always no. Life is busy with work and two kids and their homework. Who has time for anything else?
But this time I was able to say yes. Ive joined a gym with better class hours and am now going 4 times a week rather than 1-2 times a week. I've also started weekly swimming lessons. I've also started making time once every two weeks to have dinner with a friend. Just me time. The kids are just old enough that I can do this. And it feels good. They don't mind me doing things for myself. (They actually want to come and watch my swim lessons!), and they don't mind having 2 hrs to hang at home so I can grab coffee or lunch with a friend once in awhile.
Life is slowly getting better.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Learning to Swim
So I signed up for swimming lessons. I'm 40 and I never learned how to swim. I'm not afraid of the water (on the contrary, I love the water). I just never actually learned.
So I've signed up for 5 months of adult group swim. Yippee :)
After 3 weeks of lessons, I feel optimistic. I think I'm actually going to learn! It's awesome!
Week one I learned how to breathe in the water and kick. (Separately).
Week two I got to be the nerd with the flutter board, and was taught to kick and breathe at the same time. Turn your head to breathe in air, breathe out air in the water and keep kicking.
Week three, lose the flutter board and add the arms. ADD THE ARMS! I was able to do one lap of the pool without a floating device! Yaay!
It's a small thing, but a really big deal for me. It's one thing I've done purely for myself. And the kids have been so supportive. "Mama, you have lessons tonight, mama lets practice".
It's all very sweet. I'm very excited.
So I've signed up for 5 months of adult group swim. Yippee :)
After 3 weeks of lessons, I feel optimistic. I think I'm actually going to learn! It's awesome!
Week one I learned how to breathe in the water and kick. (Separately).
Week two I got to be the nerd with the flutter board, and was taught to kick and breathe at the same time. Turn your head to breathe in air, breathe out air in the water and keep kicking.
Week three, lose the flutter board and add the arms. ADD THE ARMS! I was able to do one lap of the pool without a floating device! Yaay!
It's a small thing, but a really big deal for me. It's one thing I've done purely for myself. And the kids have been so supportive. "Mama, you have lessons tonight, mama lets practice".
It's all very sweet. I'm very excited.
Learning to Heal
Every child is different. Every child heals differently. My kids should not be surprised with the recent events. But they are. And they are learning to deal with life's disappointments. It's a journey.
My son has become very silent. And angry. And bitter. That scares me. But I think in time and with therapy, he will heal. My daughter, who expresses her feelings, is healing much faster.
And I'm proud of her. Three weeks ago, her dad sent a long, threatening letter to her through a cousin who goes to the same school. The rules were you cannot tell your mom I wrote this, you cannot take the letter away and read it alone or photocopy it, you gave to read it in front of your cousin, and you have to give it back to the cousin after reading. WTF?
Anyhow, my daughter opened the 4 paged letter, read the first 3 sentences (which basically blamed her for the deterioration of the relationship with her father) and then she closed the letter, gave it back to her cousin and said she wasn't interested in reading the rest.
Talk about courage. I'm 40 and I can honestly say even I wouldn't have been able to do that. To not know what's in the remaining 4 pages, and to know this letter would be too hurtful, and to have the strength of character to walk away and protect yourself from more hurt at that young an age... Well. Wow.
She's got every nut and bold screwed in just right in that little head of hers. And she can hold her own. And at the young age of 11 she is stronger and more independent than I could ever have imagined. At the age of 11 she's managed herself to a point that it took me 40 years to reach. Amazing.
I'm so happy and grateful that she's doing so well.
And now it's time to nurture my son. The gap there is that the nurturing needs to come from a male role model. He desperately needs it. Fortunately, I have a couple of good friends that can help in that front.
And the journey continues...
My son has become very silent. And angry. And bitter. That scares me. But I think in time and with therapy, he will heal. My daughter, who expresses her feelings, is healing much faster.
And I'm proud of her. Three weeks ago, her dad sent a long, threatening letter to her through a cousin who goes to the same school. The rules were you cannot tell your mom I wrote this, you cannot take the letter away and read it alone or photocopy it, you gave to read it in front of your cousin, and you have to give it back to the cousin after reading. WTF?
Anyhow, my daughter opened the 4 paged letter, read the first 3 sentences (which basically blamed her for the deterioration of the relationship with her father) and then she closed the letter, gave it back to her cousin and said she wasn't interested in reading the rest.
Talk about courage. I'm 40 and I can honestly say even I wouldn't have been able to do that. To not know what's in the remaining 4 pages, and to know this letter would be too hurtful, and to have the strength of character to walk away and protect yourself from more hurt at that young an age... Well. Wow.
She's got every nut and bold screwed in just right in that little head of hers. And she can hold her own. And at the young age of 11 she is stronger and more independent than I could ever have imagined. At the age of 11 she's managed herself to a point that it took me 40 years to reach. Amazing.
I'm so happy and grateful that she's doing so well.
And now it's time to nurture my son. The gap there is that the nurturing needs to come from a male role model. He desperately needs it. Fortunately, I have a couple of good friends that can help in that front.
And the journey continues...
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