Honestly, sometimes my daughter says things that just melt my heart. Last night when I was putting her to bed, we were going through the usual ritual where we pray for the ones we love. She stopped in the middle of our prayers and said:
"Mommy- what happened to the Tsunami Children?"
"What do you mean, baby?"
"Lots of them lost their mommies and daddies. Who tucks them in at night?"
"Sweetheart, I don't know who is tucking them in at night. I think some of them have new parents maybe"...
"But mommy- new parents can't tuck you in like your own. You're the best mother in the world. Nobody would ever tuck me in better than you"...
"Baby, I know, but be thankful. I'm still here and so are you. Mommy is here with you"....
"But I'm sad...I want them to have a mommy- what if there are one or two left without a mommy?"
"Honey- I know, but many people are also adopting those children. That means they get to go to a new home, with people who will try their best to take care of them and be good to them"
"Mommy- nobody is a better mother than you. You're kind and fair. You should take those children. Then we will know that they will be ok....Can you call them here"...
"Oh baby...That's really sweet of you...But...I'm not sure if we can do that right now...But maybe we can send them some money and toys, and of course, our prayers for them are the most important of all"...
I felt so crappy giving such a garbage answer. Of course toys and money can't replace a mother. Yet, it took the words of an innocent child to remind me how much loss there actually is in the world. I look at my own children and my heart aches for the ones without parents. Imagine if they were my own....It's so sad.
Yet- how do you explain the realities of life to a 4 year old without freaking her out even more? How do you tell her that between being a single mom, trying to pay the bills, trying to balance life, it's all so hectic, I can barely manage the two I have, let alone another one? Then again, maybe we as adults are much more selfish than we should be. I'm not sure what the truth is. It's all so complicated. Life is complicated.
It's odd. The tsuanmi was so long ago that for the most part, most of us have almost forgotten its impact. My daughter of course, rightly pointed out that the impact is still there today. Those children, after all, are still without their parents, still in dire need of love, affection, and the basic necessities of life. The eyes of a child are so innocent and so truthful, sometimes it can be overwhelming. I wonder how they sleep at night, given all the things they have on their minds. I mean, my daughter is dealing with the difficulties and complications of divorce, yet, at night, when her tiny little head rests on that pillow, she thinks of others. I think children have something beautiful that we lose on the path to adulthood. I'm glad I can catch glimpses of it through them.
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